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Goodbye, Average Life! 6 Dave x Reader x Dirk

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You glared at the two in silence, intent on not socially interacting with them AT ALL. Instead, you stood, and stormed off to what you assumed was the bathroom, shorts in hand. The second you locked the door, you let out a LONG and LOUD frustrated groan, not caring if those two could hear. In fact, you hope they heard. You must make them realize how you suffer for them. You sat on the closed toilet, right next to a....how convenient. A red and an orange smuppet. You rolled your eyes. You picked the two up and set them on your thighs, glaring at them.

"Baka...." You mumbled. You brought the blasted smuppets to your chest and embraced them, earning soft squeaks from the two. "It hasn't even been two days but....God I've fallen for both of them....I can't string them along, that'd just be awful...I have to choose one or the other.....or just abandon them completely, but I doubt they'd let me do that..." You brought a hand to your lips. Both brothers had kissed you, and you assumed both to be confessions...you were going to have to tell them today....but not until they earn your respect back. You kissed the orange and red smuppets on the forehead, placing them aside. You took off your school pants and tossed them to a corner of the bathroom where...other...clothes...l-no, no no no no. No. You grabbed the shorts and yanked them on, stumbling to the door and unlocking it. Your legs were cold. Ew. The two were nowhere to be seen. That's fine. You stumbled over to the couch and collapsed on it, letting out a loud groan. You hear footsteps. Ignooooooooore it.

"__, Dirk went to the store to get you some ice packs." Dave called. You grabbed the couch pillow and stuffed your face into it.

"__. Dirk left and I have to take care of you. Now let me see your leg, I went online and found some treatments so that should help too." You only dug deeper.

"__." This pillow was making it hard to breathe.

"I love you." You gasped, then sat up on the couch coughing. A water bottle was tossed at you and you hurriedly drank from it. You sighed, settling the water aside. You turned to the blonde who gave you a mischievous smirk as red covered your face. You opened your mouth to reply, then remembered. No socialization whatsoever. You puffed your cheeks and lay down on the couch, back facing him. He chuckled and left. That jerk, saying such sacred words so loosely...! You let out a sigh. How were you going to handle not talking to these two douchebags? They were going to find a way to make you squeal, you just knew it. Dave's footsteps came once more.

"__, move your feet." You merely turned your head.

"__." Wait, was he going to do so- you felt a kiss on your leg. You brought your legs to your torso as your face once again lit up. That jerk...!!! Smuppets were dumped where your feet once lay. He grabbed your injured leg and gently placed it on the pile. "For once these damn things are good for something." He went to the bathroom and came back with medical tape. He sat next to your swollen knee and gently traced the wound. You flinched. Like Dirk, his hands were cold. You shivered. His hand glided to your cheek and it gently lay there. "You know, as uncool it is for me to say this, but....even if it's barely been two days, I really do love you. And the uncool part is that I love you like a Shoujo manga." You brought a hand to your face to prevent yourself from laughing. He set the medical tape down on your stomach and moved your hand away. You blushed. Oh no. He leaned foreward, and kissed you.

Not again....you closed your eyes, natural instinct taking over and kissing the boy back. A tear came to your eye and you placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"What's wrong?" He murmured. You gulped. You might as well come out with it...

"I..." You bit your bottom lip, and wiped the tear away before it had the chance to fall. "I love you...but...I love Dirk....I'd rather not do things like kiss you will I still have feelings for another." He frowned, but it soon turned to a scoff.

"Then I'll just love you enough to remove all thoughts of Bro from your gorgeous head." He said, smoothing your hair. You blushed at this. "Thanks for talking again." He kissed the tip of your nose and grabbed the medical tape, tightly wrapping it around your swollen knee. He soon completely wrapped your knee and bound the tape together with a safety pin. He stood from the couch and left to the kitchen. You placed a hand on your chest. Your heart. It could not. It could not. Not at all. It was practically threatening to leap out of your chest and run over to the kitchen to embrace Dave. That'd be quite the bloody sight...you heard the sound of keys rummaging in the lock and a door creaking open.

"Dave, I'm back! How's __ holdin' up?" ...well, you could still give Dirk the cold shoulder. Dave emerged from the kitchen and they both entered the living room at the same time. "Smuppet healing treatment..nice..." Dirk mused. Dave approached you and handed you a bottle of apple juice. You murmured a thanks as you saw him chug his own and give out a refreshing 'Ah!' When he downed it all. Well that was fast. You opened the bottle and drank a sip for yourself, giving off your own 'ah!' God you loved Apple juice. Dirk came back with pills and an ice pack. He set the ice pack on your knee and you cringed. Great. You were already cold, might as well add some ice to it! He opened the pill container and popped out two. He set the container aside and held his hand in front of you. "Here ya go!" You puffed your cheeks out and with a loud 'hmmph!' You whipped your head to the side.

"__. This a pain reliever. Come on. Take it." Dirk informed. Dave chuckled. He took the pills from his elder's hands and handed them to you.

"Thank you, Dave." You mused, popping the pills into your mouth and downing them with apple juice. He ruffled your hair.

"Anything for my favorite girl."

"So she talks to you and not me?" Dirk groaned.

"I proved to her I wasn't as stupid as you, so she's talking to me aga-" Dave's phone went off. He pulled it out and smirked. "Gotta take this, be back in a sec. Don't be stupid bro." Dave absconded to his own room and locked the door with an audible 'click'. Dirk turned to you with a playful smirk. Ugh, he better not start acting creepy. He waltzed over to the coffee table and picked up, he somehow managed to find that in it's huge mess, the TV remote. He lifted your upper body from it's spot on the couch, then set himself down, letting your person plop into his lap. Poker face mode on, he turned the TV on and...went to Crunchyroll. He went to his favorite section which was flooded with both shoujo and shounen anime and zipped to the final page. Only one show lay there. You knew this show all too well. It was....oh god...Diabolik....Lovers....you were a fan of reverse harem anime, it's true. But this show, THIS SHOW, was a PRIME example that the majority of reverse harem anime is TOTAL CRAPOLA. You wanted to say something, ANYTHING...but....you glanced up to the Strider. He was looking down at you with an evil smirk plastered into his gorgeous features. That jerk knew what was up. He played episode one.


Ten episodes in. You couldn't take the crappiness of this damn series for much longer. Dave had finished his phone conversation long ago and came back with replacement shades for Dirk who eagerly accepted them. Around episode three the two began to bandage each others wounds RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, causing you to stuff your face into the pillow where you had a hard time breathing. After they finished this, which was around episode five considering how much cute lil' Dave was struggling so much, they both replaced whatever was cushioning you and sat on the couch, Dave propping up your lower body and Dirk the upper. This was stupid. Around episode seven, you were struggling to stay awake so you could continue making fun of the show like you had done for the last six episodes. And now you were two minutes into episode 11, you passed out.

When you woke up, you were faced with darkness. Your knee felt MUCH better and you were no longer on the couch. Instead, a blanket with billiards decorations covered your body. You slowly sat up and glanced around. The room was illuminated with a gentle light that came from the window. You saw the mess that invaded the room, warning you to be careful where you stepped. You swung your feet over the edge and brought yourself to your feet, feeling something very plush emitting a loud squeak. You froze. This two were probably sleeping by now, so you had to be quite. You removed yourself from the smuppet and absconded. You opened and gently closed this rooms door and using your phone as a light source after taking a peek at the time, slowly making your way to the bathroom. You turned the bathroom light on and shut the door. You approached the toilet and set both lids down. You brought your wounded leg up and set it at the edge of the toilet. Your knee was slightly cold and the swelling had most definitely decreased. The tape bandage was even redone. You heard a low growl and flinched. Did they wake up?? You turned around. The growl continued. Wait. It was closer than you thought...you looked towards the shower. You opened the shower door and covered your mouth, attempting to prevent your laugh from going through.

"Dirk, it's 4 AM and your sitting in the shower wearing your hat shirt and pony covered boxers with Cal on your head. Why?" You asked, taking the puppet from him.

"I...just...binged watch...every episode of Vampire Knight, and I regret loving every single second of it. Also good to see you're talking to me again." He confessed.

"Yes I am. I grew bored of ignoring you. But really? Vampire Knight? Wow I hated that main character SOOO much. Why in the shower?"

"Dave was being loud, you were sleeping, the shower was quiet."

"I see..." He pointed his head at the spot across from you. "Sit across from me. Let's have a feels jam." Shrugging, you entered the shower and sat across from him.

"What's that?" He looked at you as if you were insane.

"Just talking to a friend about how you feel about stuff." He answered with a shrug.

"Alright, but before that, two thing. First up, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"When your bro uncle Huss or whatever died, why didn't you sue? Or did you?"

"We were out of place to do so. He basically flash stepped in front of the truck so the truck had no time to dodge him as he had no time to dodge the truck. What's the other thing?"

"...I guess this would count as a feels jam thing so..." You gulped. You already said it to Dave so, just one more person. "I love you." You saw his body flinch, as if he was taken aback by your sudden confession. You felt your face heat up as a blush came to his own face. He smiled, and opened his mouth. Now comes the next part... "BUT I also love Dave. I'd rather...you know....you not kiss me or whatever while I still have feelings for another. C-cool?" His smile faded into a frown. He gave a small chuckle as you hugged Cal more. He moved next to you and grabbed your hands. You blushed. He put one hand to his chest and other to his lips. Your face grew slightly more red.

"Feel that?" You gulped. You felt his heart, and as expected, it was beating, but it seemed to be faster than the normal rate. Was he nervous? "You're the only one who's made my kokoro go doki doki like this." He placed a kiss on you hand. "And soon enough, your kokoro will go doki doki for this Prince and ONLY this Prince."



Friday. The Strider bros had gotten the Lalonde sisters to call your parents and claim you were staying with them. Dirk drove you two to school and walked you two all the way to the door, holding your hand the entire time. You attempted to protest, but he wasn't having any of that, and nor was Dave who had linked arms with you. It was rather awkward are being in the middle of that short squabble. When you had approached the entrance, you tried to free yourself from Dirk, but he refused to let go of your hand.

"Dirk..."

"Bro...!!"

"NOOOO...."

Dave had resorted to trying to pull you from Dirk. His arm were wrapped around your waist and he was practically carrying you while attempting to walk backwards.

"NOOOO!!!" Dirk whined. "If I'm not with her, I will die..!"

"You're not going to die bro, you'll be fine, just LET HER GO!!"

"Dirk...if you let me attend this entire school day without being a Strider stalker and going straight home right now, I'll come over on Saturday and we can watch anime."

"...any anime?"

"Any anime."

"Together??"

"Together."

"Without Dave???"

"Not sure about that one..." His grip slightly loosened and Dave set you down. He let go of your hand and kissed your forehead, absconding to his car and driving off.

"Well, he's gone." Dave took hold of your not-Dirk-tainted hand, entwining his finger with yours. Blushes rose to both your faces. "Let's get to algebra." He guided you down the long halls. "So, __, let's compromise. You and Dirk can watch any anime and stuff, but, you have to spend time with me, too. It's not cool of you come over and all you do is watch anime with Dork while he passes me knowing smirks."

"Dork?"

"He's not as much of a dork as John, but dear god he's a HUGE dork." You giggled and his grasp tightened as you two arrived to the first step. "Hey, can your leg handle stairs?" He asked, giving what you assumed to be a worried look. You blinked in confusion then looked down. No matter how strong the hold on the tape bandage, you forgot about your wound completely. You bent down and felt at your knee. It felt fine, it stung a bit, but that was it, and it was no longer swollen.

"Yeah!" You chirped. He smirked.

"Cool, come on, Princess. Off to the Land of Equation and Arithmetic we go..!"

"Bleugh, sounds awful."

"It is, but we can suffer together." You began the long tread up the stairs. In no less than a minute you two arrived in the class. Late. Because of Dirk. You made Dave let go of you hand because you were embarrassed, who protested that you let him do it all the way there.

"Only because NOBODY was around."

"Why can't people know we're into each other? I mean yeah, you're into Dirk as well but, that'll change soon enough so don't worry."

"I still.....I..." He let out a groan.

"Alright, no PDA. But first..." He leaned down as he smoothed your hair. He placed a peck on your lips. Then growled. "It's not enough to calm these fiery urges but, it'll have to do for now. Come on, class time." He knocked on the door and opened, stepping to the side for you to enter. Taking deep breaths to calm your red self, you waltzed in, your knight following in suit. You grabbed your assignment then walked to your row and took your seat behind Jade. Jade was giggling to herself as she turned around to face you, ignoring the lesson as Mrs. Huettele carried on with her lesson.

"So, you and Dave, huh?" She smirked with wiggling eyebrows.

"Hell yeah." Dave answered as he passed. The red came back.

"I-no, it's,....EVERYTHING'S COMPLICATED, ALRIGHT?" You yelled. Silence. You felt MANY eyes land on your person as you slowly sunk in your seat. Students were snickering as Dave gave reassuring paps to your back.

"Algebra or teenage drama? Both's complicated so I'm kinda confused." Mrs. Huettele chuckled looking straight at you. The class erupted in silent laughter. "On with the lesson!"


You sat at your usual lunch table with Dave. Fish day was today. Truth be told, you loved fish. You watched as Dave happily chugged his Apple juice. Like usual, or from the three days you've known him usual, he brought ten small bottles of Apple juice.

"So let's talk about stuff." He started. You swallowed your fish and turned to him.

"What kind of stuff."

"Hm..........hoooow abooooout....um....never have I ever. That'd work." You sighed and let out a slow laugh.

"I hate you right now. Let's do this, bro."
so, any suggestions for never have I ever?
also, hehehehhehehehhehehehhehehheheheheee
homestuck belongs to :iconthehussplz:
i did the story and stuff
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